Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
