My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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