These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He? As in you personified your dick?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
