Need sex. Gaining weight.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
