in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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