Will you blow on my dice?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize