I can text with my tongue
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
and you fell through a lawn chair
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
