Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
