Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
