My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
