I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
