How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
