I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
