yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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