I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
