And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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