i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
