I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
