What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
