If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize