thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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