Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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