is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize