so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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