Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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