so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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