Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize