I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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