Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
