so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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