Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
MIDGETS
????
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
