he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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