help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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