I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
