I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
