We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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