Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
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