Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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