I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
just found out that she named her cat after me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
