I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
