i already hear my dad disowning me
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
