So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
