At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
he thought i was a dude.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I AM VODKA MAN
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
