Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
