A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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