It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
