yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
