White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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