oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
