what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
