I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
