I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
