sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
