And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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