First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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