I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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