So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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