Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
